Beauty Pageant For Nuns

I'm sure all of you heard about the Italian priest set to sponsor a beauty pageant for nuns. He wanted to showcase their inner beauty and to dispel myths and stereotypes of old, haggard nuns.

Well, it's not gonna happen.

Lots of people got upset, and I must tell you, I wasn't too keen on his limiting the contest to sisters between the age of 18 and 40. Um, most sisters today are in their 70s and older, for starters, and if it's inner beauty he's searching for age shouldn't matter.

'Nuff on that. However, my friend Sr. Mary Margaret has started her own contest! Check it out and submit a photo of your favorite sister, living or deceased: Beautiful Nun Contest.

Here's my entry:



Meet Sr. Maria Goretti, my first grade teacher. Sadly, she passed away at a very young age, when her car collided with a train. As Billy Joel crooned, "only the good die young."

Three reasons why Sr. Goretti earns my vote as most Beautiful Nun:

1. Take a look at her and figure it out for yourself.
2. She taught 51 six-year-olds by herself, in pre-airconditioned South Florida while draped head-to-toe in a wool habit.
3. She indulged my fantasy as a lounge singer, only smiling as I belted out hits of the day like "Hi De Ho" and the "Take it off, take it off, take it all off" Noxema jingle.