Haute Flash Contessa

Rants, ramblings, raves of a woman who blames everything from road rage to undercooked pork chops on a hormone imbalance.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Diet Scam

According to some fitness guru on the tube yesterday, we can lose weight by burning calories through everyday activities. He suggested we undertake this sort of “exercise” regiment:

Vacuuming – 100 calories per thirty minutes. Do this three times a week.

Dusting – 100 calories per hour. Four times a week would be good.

Grocery Shopping – 600 calories an outing. Make sure we do lots of knee bends by selecting from the bottom shelves. Once a week is fine.

Cleaning floors, tubs and toilets – 300 calories per hour. Try working this in daily.

Sex – 200 calories per ten minutes. Work this in at least two times a week.

Let’s see if I got this right: a spotless house, satisfied hubby and trim figure. What is this, the Stepford Wives Diet? I think I’ll stick to Weight Watcher’s.

2 Comments:

At 11:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's see 2 hour's of vacuming or 20 minutes of sex? That's the problem with women. They tend to overlook the simple solutions.

Marty

 
At 5:52 PM, Blogger haute flash contessa said...

Marty, I think you need to read my blog entry about baboon males. I hope to get it posted later tonight.

 

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