Haute Flash Contessa

Rants, ramblings, raves of a woman who blames everything from road rage to undercooked pork chops on a hormone imbalance.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Cruising for Fun

The Contessa just spent a few days on a girlfriend cruise to the Bahamas. Lotsa fun with her sister and a few other gal pals. We behaved. Mostly. You know what they say, "What happens on the ship stays on the ship."

We were off to a rocky start, though. When it was time to muster, where crew takes you through emergency procedures and points you toward your lifeboat, we were told to walk up two flights of stairs and gather in the auditorium. Last time I looked, lifeboats were stored outside, um, near the water.

The first thing the crew member asked was if anyone had any special needs so they could be put on the appropriate list. Okay. Where's the wine list? We'd been on board for an hour without so much of a sniff of a cork. Talk about a special need!

The crew member walked us through putting on our life jackets, pointing out a built-in flashlight and whistle. Good, when the lights go out we'll be able to find our way to the bar.

The lady told us that in the case of an emergency not to worry because the ship was stocked with unsinkable life rafts. Isn't that what the captain on the Titanic said?

The cruise was fun, even filled with celebrities. I got my photo taken with Elvis Pressly. He didn't look dead to me, although I thought he was from Tennessee, not Japan. Must be how he aged.


At 12:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if they can make the lifeboats out of unsinkable stuff, why don't they make the entire BOAT out of it?


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