Haute Flash Contessa

Rants, ramblings, raves of a woman who blames everything from road rage to undercooked pork chops on a hormone imbalance.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Chaperoning Middle School Dances or Taming a Prison Uprising?

I was in the kitchen baking cookies when the door bell rang. Again. And again. It kept ringing for at least ten minutes. That’s how long it takes before the smoke alarm goes off.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Pinot asked, taking a break from his morning push-up.

“Nope, it’s only a prowler.”

“It sure looks like Merlotta,” Grigio added, breaking out in a sweat over topping his three sit-ups-in-a-row record. “She’s wearing that red hat you hate.”

Yep, it was Merlotta, on the prowl for dupes, er, volunteers. Every year she marches through the neighborhood on a hunt for do-gooders to help her out with one cause or another. I managed to hide from her last year but Pinot & Grigio weren’t as lucky. She roped them into an adopt-a-boy auction for her pet charity, Moolah for Moos. High bidders took home a teenage boy to help with chores and the money went to feed starving cows. It’s amazing how much feed 50 cents can buy.

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