Uplifting Technology

"Hey, hon, look at this," the Big Guy yelled to me from the tv room last night. From the sound of his voice I thought Danica Patrick had stripped to her waist.

Seems one of the newest safety gizmos out these days is a global tracking device that attaches to bras. If a woman is attacked or abducted (or runs away), a satellite can track her whereabouts.

"Lojack for breasts," the Big Guy explained.

I think I'll hold out for a tire jack. Just hook it up to the underwire on my bra and crank, crank, crank. Good-bye saggy boobs and hello perky gun turrets. Maybe then the Big Guy will throw out his Danica posters.