Haute Flash Contessa

Rants, ramblings, raves of a woman who blames everything from road rage to undercooked pork chops on a hormone imbalance.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Uplifting Technology

"Hey, hon, look at this," the Big Guy yelled to me from the tv room last night. From the sound of his voice I thought Danica Patrick had stripped to her waist.

Seems one of the newest safety gizmos out these days is a global tracking device that attaches to bras. If a woman is attacked or abducted (or runs away), a satellite can track her whereabouts.

"Lojack for breasts," the Big Guy explained.

I think I'll hold out for a tire jack. Just hook it up to the underwire on my bra and crank, crank, crank. Good-bye saggy boobs and hello perky gun turrets. Maybe then the Big Guy will throw out his Danica posters.

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